Raydiva's Outtakes
by Raydiva
Summary: What happens when a pair of godlings get a hold of some bloopers and other outtakes from my MK: Mythos of Rayden, Conquest and Echoes of the Past stories? Let's find out.
1. Chapter 1

**Note:** Ok, I'm experiencing some writer's block with my current fanfic. So I thought I try something a little different to correct it. Basically it's just a bunch of bloopers that could have happened….not that really did or anything. The first chapter is just for MK: Mythos of Rayden and I'm planning some bloopers from my other fanfics, MK: Conquest and maybe MK: Echoes of the Past. You may also notice there is a bit of a cross over with another MK storyline…sorta.

**Chapter 1: Bloopers from Mythos of Rayden**

A medium height woman with dirty blonde hair walks out from a vault, carrying two plastic bags full of video tapes. She head down the hall to the back lot door. As she reaches over to open the door, it sudden swings open and she hears a loud "Hiya, Miss Raydiva!"

Startled, Raydiva tosses the plastic bags in the air scattering the tapes across the hall and falls on her rump. "Damn it, Kidd!" she complains as she gets up and dusts off her rear, "How many times have we told you not to do that?"

"Do what?" asks Kidd Thunder, "Whatcha doing anyway?"

Raydiva, busy with picking up the scattered tapes answered without thinking, "Just getting rid of these old outtakes."

"Why?"

"Because there is no reason to keep them, they're taking up space, "she said, "and some of the stuff on them, certain people would prefer not to be seen."

A calculating look came over the godling's face as he said, "You mean people like Unca Rayden?"

Raydiva picked up the last tape and placed it in one of the bags, nodded and said, "Yeah, he's on them."

"Let me help get rid of 'em for ya, "Kidd offered and held out his hand for the bags.

"Thanks, "accepted Raydiva thinking this might mean taking fewer trips than originally planned, "You take these out to the dumpster and I'll go…Kidd wait!"

The second Kidd got hold of the bags, he vanished in a flash of blue tinted light with 'Zzztt!'

**(Scene Change)**

"Kidd what's that?" asks Kidd's younger sister, Lil' Lighting, as she plopped down on to the floor.

"Reconnecting the VCR, "answered Kidd as he crawled out from behind the huge TV.

"Why?"

"So we can laugh at Unca Rayden, "Kidd said as he sat down next to his sister and clicked the remote….

**('beep' 5….4….3….2…….)**

Fear entered Raijin's heart. He knew that tone and what would happen when his father found out what he was reading rather than his assigned books and scrolls. With shaking hands, Raijin handed his father the book. The Elder God of Shadows eyes flashed angrily as he read the title, 'The Strength of the Human Spirit.' With his full strength, Shinnok slammed the book across Raijin's head. The godling hit the floor; his ears ringing from the blow as pieces of parchment slowly fell around him.

"You will not study such nonsense,"hissed Shinnok in a cold voice, "As punishment and to prove how weak these monkeys are you will go to the village known as Niano on Earthrealm. You will take the shadows and destroy every single man, woman and child that lives there. Do you understand?"

"Father, please I can't…."Raijin begged.

"What do you mean you can't? You are my son and you will do as you are told. Destroying a few vermin should be an easy job for you, "said Shinnok.

"Please…."

Shinnoks eyes flashed again as he went to kicked his still kneeling son in the stomach and then stepped on one of the now loose sheets of parchment. It slips, causing the Elder God to nearly flip backwards as his butt crashes into the floor.. His red and black robes fly up and over his head, revealing his black boxers with a bright red 'kiss' printed next to his cough.

For a few seconds, silence ruled only to be conquered by the chaotic laughter that followed. "CUT!" yelled Raydiva past and over the laughter, trying her best not to fall out of her director's chair.

Shinnok angrily straightens his robes as he stands with glowing eyes. Most of the people in the studio, stop laughing…until the Elder God turns to leave, only to end up showing that back of his robes were still stuck in the hem of his boxers and that there was another 'kiss' printed on his right butt check. The laughter shakes the room as Shinnok proudly walked out, growling that he was going to his dressing room.

**(The screen flickers a little and a new scene starts)**

The God of Thunder overnight became a God of War. When he heard the reports that Shinnok was sighted among his hordes, Rayden was almost overjoyed. Now he would have his chance to pay his father back for all he had done to himself and everyone. Rayden ordered his human smiths to line his warhammer with the immortal killing metal. He trained with a bloodthirsty relish that was never seen before in the thunder god. Suddenly the head of his war hammer flies free of its handle as Rayden did a stronger than normal sweep.

Raydiva dived to ground a split second before the hammer head flew just about the back of the director's chair. Then off stage the sound of something crashing through a glass window was heard. Then a voice coming from the direction of the crash called out, "We're ok!"

Then a louder crash and dust flies by. "Maybe not, "the voice called again.

**(The screen flickers a little and a new scene starts)**

"Bravo, thundergod, "she said as she clapped sarcastically, "At least now when you mess up, you do it with style. That was a performance even Johnny Cage would be proud of."

"Who?" Rayden automatically asked.

The woman ignored that question as she stood up and walked towards the now frozen Emperor of Outworld. "Ugh! "she said with a look of disgust on her face as she looked at Kahn's face, "Think I'm gonna be sick."

The 'frozen' Kahn then sneezed loudly and messily right in her face. 

"Ewwww!" yelled the white haired woman as she jumps back and wipes her face.

"CUT!" yells Raydiva through her megaphone.

Rayden is obviously trying not to laugh as Kahn says with a sniff, "Sorry, allergies."

**(Same Scene Take 2)  
**  
The woman ignored that question as she stood up and walked towards the now frozen Emperor of Outworld. "Ugh! "she said with a look of disgust on her face as she looked at Kahn's face, "Think I'm gonna be sick." She then crosses her eyes, which for some reason the 'frozen' Kahn finds hilarious. He drops his sword and breaks down laughing.

Raydiva yells out again, "CUT! Come on guys, work with me!"

**(Same Scene Take 3)**

The woman ignored that question as she stood up and walked towards the now frozen Emperor of Outworld. "Ugh! "she said with a look of disgust on her face as she looked at Kahn's face, "Think I'm gonna be….." She suddenly stands up straight and her face turns angrily red as she felt a warm hand on her behind. 

She yells out, "Pervert!" as she turns and slaps Rayden across the face. Kahn once again breaks down laughing as she chases the thundergod around the room.

Raydiva just sighs dejectedly and tosses her megaphone to the ground. "Just forget it, "she mumbles as she gets up to walk away.

**(Scene Change)**

A loud, angry sounding knocking warned Kidd and Lil of the impending danger. Kidd gets the tape from the VCR and Lil grabs the bags as the muffled sounds of Rayden answering the door could be heard. They vanished with their respective blue and pink tinted light with a 'Zzzttt!' just when Rayden's voice fills the air with one word, "What!"

**The End….**

Next time on Raydiva's Outakes…

Lil' placed a large bowl of popcorn and a bunch of sodas on the coffee table. "You sure Mr. Cage won't be mad?" the girl asked.

"Nah, he said we could watch movies at his place anytime, "answered Kidd as he picked up the remote, "Just don't leave a mess like he said."


	2. Chapter 2

**Note: ** I haven't done this in a while so just in case…(takes a deep breath) I do not own Midway, Mortal Kombat, MK: Conquest, etc. Here's another set of outtakes, this time from my MK: Conquest series. Since that story has 31 chapters, there will be most likely be more from that series coming soon.  
**  
Chapter 2: Some Bloopers from Conquest**

"Hurry up already!" yelled Kidd as he jumped on to the couch.

Lil' placed a large bowl of popcorn and a bunch of sodas on the coffee table. "You sure Mr. Cage won't be mad?" the girl asked.

"Nah, he said we could watch movies at his place anytime, "answered Kidd as he picked up the remote, "Just don't leave a mess like he said."

Lil' grinned as she plopped down on the floor between the coffee table and couch, saying, "Ready!"

Kidd clicked 'play' on the remote…..

**('beep!' 5….4….3….2…..)**

"It seems you messed up rather nicely this time, my friend." She sighed, "You may not goof often, but when you do….DAMN!"

She stood up and approached the still kneeling male. While she did this, he mentally thanked the Elder Gods for her timely arrival.

"At least this time I'm able to ….." She said as she began to untie him, but then an evil look appeared on her eyes. With a cruel smirk, the white haired woman reached down and squeezed both his butt cheeks.

"HEY!" Rayden yelped as he tried to get away.

"What's the matter, "said the woman, "you can dish it out but can't take it..hmmmm." She then reached around and gave his cough a squeeze.

"CUT!" Raydiva screamed as she marched over and forcibly pulled the white haired woman away from the kneeling Rayden. "No one gropes the thundergod unless I tell them too. Capish?" she said with clenched teeth right into the white haired woman's face.

A white eyebrow rose as the woman said, "Why didn't you say anything when he…."

"Huh..ladies? Could someone…"asked Rayden as twisted to show his still tied hands and wiggled his fingers.

**(Some flickering and a new scene appears)**

By this time, Kung Lao finally defeated the last of his attackers and looked to see Shang Tsung preparing to attack the stranger. "Shang Tsung!" he yelled.

The sorcerer now noticed that it was now two against one. He raised his arms to send out two fireballs but then a distinct 'Eeeerrrppp' sounded. A strange look came to Shang's face as the blonde woman covered her mouth trying not to laugh.

Raydiva wasn't as lucky and laughter sputtered past her lips which then triggered everyone to break down laughing, including the 'unconscious' women on the ground. The sorcerer covered his eyes as his skin took on a slightly red hue.

**(Some flickering and a new scene appears)**

Kuravan laughed a cold cruel laugh. "Your information is slightly outdated thunderer." He then threw out his hand and a large ball of light-blue energy flew out towards Rayden. The thunder god deflected it with a thunderbolt and then swung his hammer. Kuravan was hit squarely in the chest, causing him to fly through the air and crashing into a wall. Unfortunately, Rayden was unable to stop the momentum of his swing and he was forcibly swung around in a circle a few times until he fell to the ground flat on his back.

"Cut!" Raydiva said, "You okay?"

Rayden nodded as he tried to stand back up, but ended up falling back down with a dizzy look.

**(Some flickering and a new scene appears)**

Just as the green smoke was dissipating, Rayden appeared in Althea's room. He pulled up the chair so to be more comfortable while he worked. Taking a deep breath, he took her hand to attempt recharging her chi with his own elemental energy. It was then that the potion took full effect on both of them. Rayden fell forward, his head landing….

"Get off of me you creep!" Althea 'woke-up' and pushed Rayden off her chest.

"Cut, "sighed Raydiva, "What was that for?"

"His face was on my…."

"It was a joke, "said Rayden, "And the script says…"

Althea sat up and crossed her arms across her chest to say, "I just don't want _him_ touching me _there_."

"You rather I touch you someplace lower, "said the thunder god with a smirk.

"Enough! And save it for the love scene will ya Rayden?" Raydiva exclaimed.

"What love scene?" demanded Althea with flashing eyes.

**(Some flickering and a new scene appears)**

Four men walked through the caverns of the cobalt mines searching. They eventually came across their prize, in a heavy lip lock with on of the Shokan guards. Her hands around his thick neck, pulling herself up as the Shokan's four hands were all over her body.

"CUT! CUT! CUT! CUT! "raged Raydiva surprising the 'loving' couple who jumped apart, "Take it to a bedroom and only after we finish this scene!"

Jola just smirked and gave the Shokan's butt a light squeeze.

**(Some flickering and a new scene appears)**

Rayden sense what she was going through and reached out to take her hand. They both stared into each others eyes for a few moments. Rayden stood up some and leaned forward….!CRASH!

Both jumped, and the sounds of a fight going on outside got their full attention. Althea ran outside to see what was going on. To her amazement she saw Lilith on the ground fighting off a bunch of dogs (?) no wolves. Two have grabbed each of her wings and a third was on top of her, she has holding him back from her throat. Seeing Althea, Lilith growled and then spat a red substance into the face of the wolf. It yelped and rolled off of her, taking one of the two holding her wings with it. She was then able to roll and claw the other one and then make her escape in the air. 

"Stop this at once!" came an angry voice from off stage.

"CUT!"yelled Raydiva and then turned to see who the hell dared to interrupt filming, "Who the hell are you and how the freak did you get on my set!"

"We are with the American Humane Society and we're here to see that those wolves are not harmed!" said a man walking angrily towards Raydiva with two uniformed humane society officers behind him. He then pointed to the 'injured' wolf and said, "There was no reason for that…"

The wolf then started changing and eventually stood up as a human man. "Wat the fuc do ya think ya doing!"the 'wolf' growled.

Raydiva sighed as the humane society people stood stunned. Their leader gasped, "What are you?" 

"Take five everyone, "said Raydiva tiredly, "While I try to explain what actors are to these morons."

**(Scene Change)**

At Pesina Park, Raydiva and Rayden were looking for the godlings. "Where the hell could they be?" asked Raydiva.

"You said you were going to destroy those tapes, "rumbled the thundergod.

"Don't get your jumper in a bind, "said Raydiva, "It's not like they got the scenes I cut out to keep the PG-13 rating."

Rayden froze and then turned to look at Raydiva with flashing eyes, "And just where are those tapes?"

**The End…**

Next time on Raydiva's Outakes…..****

"Hey guys what's up!" said Johnny Cage as he jogged up to them in his blue and black jogging suit.

With a sigh of relief, Raydiva said, "Hey, JC! Have you seen Kidd or Lil lately?"

"Nope, "he said, "But I did tell them they could watch movies at my place at anytime last time I did. Why?"


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: More Bloopers from MK: Conquest**

Raydiva just looked at Rayden, scratching the back of her head trying to think up something as the thunder god glared at her.

"Hey guys what's up!" said Johnny Cage as he jogged up to them in his blue and black jogging suit.

With a sigh of relief, Raydiva said, "Hey, JC! Have you seen Kidd or Lil lately?"

"Nope, "he said, "But I did tell them they could watch movies at my place at anytime last time I did. Why?"

Before Raydiva could answer, Rayden grabbed hold of her arm and then they vanished in a flash of light. "Oookay, "said Johnny as he adjusted his sunglasses.

**(All you see is a TV screen flickering and then 3….2….1….boop!)**

"That stupid…" thump "…son of a…" crash, was the sounds that Althea heard coming from one of the storage rooms. She peeked into the room and saw a very angry Taja moving crates and barrels around. "What did Siro do this time?" asked Althea.

Startled Taja turned and asked, "What do you mean?"

"Well, I don't see Kung Lao making you this angry in the short amount of time since your return, and as annoying Rayden can be he's never gotten you this angry since I've known you guys, "Althea shrugged and continued, "That leaves Siro as the 'son of a bitch' you're pissed off about"

Taja kicked one of the barrels and then yelped. Althea tried not to laugh as Taja sat down on another barrel cussing colorfully as she rubbed her foot.

"Cut! You're supposed to kick the empty one, "said Raydiva.

**(Flickering and a new scene starts)**

Quan Chi held the journal in his hand as he entered the chamber that held the coffins. He was pleased that the Red Dragon was able to get such a good focus for his creation and so soon. To top it off, they even admitted that retrieving the needed focus from Rayden would be next to impossible and offered the journal for a fraction of the original asking price in return for their failure. It was hard to find such service these days, such a balance between deceit and good business was extremely rare. The sorcerer would just have to send one of his 'children' to retrieve the needed item.

He placed the journal on the blood red coffin and then poured a potion onto it. The book than sank down into the coffin, which flared brightly for a moment and then started pulsating. Quan Chi started to laugh evilly, but then started choking and coughing.

"Cut!" exclaimed Raydiva.

Quan Chi wheezed some as he tried to regain his voice and then gasped, "I hate having to do the evil laugh."

**(Flickering)**

"Crap! It's a challenge," whispered Althea as she stood up. "What?"whisper Kung Lao. Althea answered, "When a deity wishes to take over another's domains he can place a formal challenge. It can be done only between deities of similar positions in their respective realms. So only a god of thunder can challenge another god of thunder."

"Great, IM-Mortal Kombat," said Taja.

Rayden summoned his hammer, but Althea quickly stepped between the two immortals with hands flaming light-blue. "YOU DARE INTERFERE!" roared Ragen.

For some reason, everyone on stage found Ragen's exclamation hilarious and started breaking down laughing.

"Cut!" said Raydiva tiredly over the laughter.

**(Take 2)**

Rayden summoned his hammer, but Althea quickly stepped between the two immortals with hands flaming light-blue. "YOU DARE INTERFERE!" roared Ragen.

Althea sputtered and started laughing. "Sorry!" she gasped out as she laughed.

"CUT!" yelled Raydiva.

Siro sighed as Taja covered her eyes with her hand and the others just shook their heads.

**(Take 3)**

"Crap! It's a challenge," whispered Althea as she stood up. "What?"whisper Kung Lao. Althea answered, "When a deity wishes to take over another's domains he can place a formal challenge. It can be done only between deities of similar positions in their respective realms. So only a god of thunder can challenge another god of thunder."

"Great, IM-Mortal Kombat," said Taja.

Rayden summoned his hammer and lost his grip, dropping in on his foot. "SHIT!" he yelled as he started jumping around on one foot in pain.

"CUT! That's it, "yelled Raydiva, "Next series we're getting rid of that damn hammer!"

**(Flickering)**

Her shivering increased and Rayden could almost hear her teeth chattering. He then proceeded to strip both of them down to their undergarments and then carried her towards the heated pool only to get his foot caught in some moss. The splash of water nearly reached Raydiva and the filming crew. Rayden and Althea popped up out of the water sputtering.

Raydiva just sighed and tossed her megaphone away.

**(Flickering)**

Taja saw Kung Lao and could barely keep yelling out, but her years as a thief had ingrained the habit of silence. Taja then tapped Siro on the shoulder and indicated where Kung Lao was silently. The bodyguard's trademark smile shown through. During this, Kung Lao pulled out a small pouch and handed it to Taja. Taja recognized it immediately as her old lock picks and quickly began to work on the cage's lock. The jiggling of the lock caused the cage to shake and then start to fold over.

"Hey!" yelped Siro as he reached up to hold the cage up. Kung Lao snorted and started to laugh as the cage continued to fold over forcing Siro to end up bending over Taja as she was forced to kneel close to the ground.

"Cut! Props what the hell…"yelled Raydiva as an old man in washed-out overalls and an  
old fashion hammer in his back pocket slowly made his way into the tent. He just looked at the folded up metal cage, ignoring the imprisoned coupled and then said in a voice that could only come from a throat that drank too much hard liquor over the years, "Yeeeeeahh…..fergot the bolts….I get to it in a sec." He then slowly walked back out grumbling under his breath.

**(Flickering)**

With the exception a few who kept watch, everyone at the temple slept. Unseen by the guards, a figure jumped from the temple walls and silently made his way to the women's guest quarters. Once there he carefully made his way to the door to Althea's room. It listened at the door for a few seconds as if to determine if the occupant was asleep and/or alone. Carefully he quietly opened the door. He entered the room and silently closed the door as he pulled out a sword with a barely heard 'sshhinn.'

Althea's eyes opened and she rolled out of the way just as the sword came down. She swiped her leg around in the hopes of tripping the would be assassin, but he just jumped over her leg as it came around and took another swing at the woman. Again she rolled out of the way and this time jumping up into a defensive pose. Drained from attempting to repair the temple's mystical defenses, Althea's only hope was the training she had been receiving from Kung Lao. The attacker threw out his hand as something ropelike came from his palm and then fell to the ground harmlessly.

"Cut!" yelled Raydiva as Scorpion dropped his head in embarrassment. Althea sighed as she went to get back into position for the beginning of the scene. 

Raydiva walked over to the ninja and patted him on the back as he pulled back his rope. She said, "Don't worry about it. I heard it happens to the best of 'em."

**(Scene Change)**

The door to Johnny's apartment opened startling the kids and Kidd stopped the VCR. When they saw that it was Sonya carrying a bag of groceries, they both started laughing in relief. It was the laugher that brought them to Sonya Blade's attention. She placed the bag on the kitchen table and said, "Ok what are you two doing here?"

Kidd responded, "Just watching some movies."

Lil then asked "What are you doing here?"

"Well, "said Sonya nervously, "I sorta live here."

"I thought that this was Mr. Cage's home, "replied Lil.

Kidd then hit Lil on the back of her head and said, "She's his girlfriend."

"Huh?"said Lil but seeing Sonya's light blush it dawned on her, "Ooooooh you and Mr. Cage are living together."

Wisely, Kidd started to collect the tapes and then grabbed Lil's hand, "Well see ya later Miss Blade."

Both vanished in a flash of pink and blue light. "Hey!" yelled Sonya getting over her embarrassment, "Who's gonna clean this mess!" She then sighed and started to clean up the popcorn and dirty glasses.

Just as she got finished washing the last glass Rayden with Raydiva in tow appeared in a flash of light. The moment they appeared Althea started to look a little green and then ran out of the room. Not so nice sounds were eventually heard coming from the general direction of the bathroom. Ignoring them Rayden turned to Sonya and asked, "Have you seen Kidd or Lil?"

"They just left a little while ago with some movies, "answered Sonya drying her hands with a dish towel.

The sound of flushing followed by Raydiva stomping back into the kitchen interrupted any further discussion. Raydiva then grabbed Rayden by his arm to turn him to face her and said through clenched teeth, "You know I hate it when you teleport me without warning!"

"Well here's a warning, "replied Rayden as he took hold of the hand on his arm and once again they both vanished.

"I have to start hanging around normal people again, "sighed Sonya.

**The End…..**

Next time on Raydiva's Outakes….

"Hiya Mr. Briggs!" yelled Kidd Thunder nearly causing Jaxs to dropped the heavy box he was holding. Which he did right onto his foot when Lil shouted, "How ya been!"


End file.
